Previous Articles

There have been multiple requests to make all of my older articles available for new readers, so here are essays I wrote between 2013 – 2014. As always, let me know what resonates with you by commenting, and feel free to share your thoughts with other readers by reposting!

-Candice

“Fear of the Unknown” as published on Pathos for The Marin Foundation

“Many of us feel petrified when someone tries to engage us about the topic of homosexuality and the Church, or about what ‘the gay lifestyle’ really means. There’s an awkward and intense fear of the unknown of what the scary ride of this conversation will be like.”

“Christmas in the Closet” as published on Believe Out Loud

“As a therapist, I hear stories like mine over and over again. But I also hear different kinds of stories where there is less lying and more blatant disapproval of one’s gayness from family members, if not a complete ignorance that you’ve told your family that you are gay and have a significant other.”

“Is Attending Church Worth the Risk?” as published on Believe Out Loud

“If asked whether it would be possible for me to feel at home in a non-affirming church, my first response is typically, “Of course.” But to be honest, I answer this way because I want straight Christians to know there’s nothing that could get in the way of my relationship with God.”

“Honoring the Wisdom of Our Bodies” as published on Believe Out Loud

“Many people ask me, ‘When did you know? When did you know you were attracted to other women?’ This so-called betrayal against both myself and God of being attracted to other women came on suddenly and seemingly with no warning.”

“The Hidden Shame of Secrecy” as published on Believe Out Loud

“What a gift to have a friend who truly wanted to know me, yet also allow space for my hurt. My friend did not blame me, but provided words and affirmed my experience. She worked to understand what it was like for me.”

“Running with Pride” as published on Standing on the Side of Love

“I looked over to my left and I saw huge, and I mean, huge signs that read ‘God Hates Fags’  or ‘You’re Going to Hell’, etc. We’ve all seen them before, and honestly the big signs don’t really bother me all that much. But, over a loud speaker a man yelled out, ‘Why can’t you be normal?!’”

“How to Win Your Gay Kids for Christ” as published on RMNBlog

“Wow, my dad not only isn’t kicking me out of the car, but he’s calling me to a deeper love for God, myself and others.  In that moment I believed more deeply in the love God had for me than ever before. I want to thank my dad because when I doubt my worth, or Gods love for me, I think of that conversation.”

“Finding Myself Through Therapy” as published on Believe Out Loud

“I thought the only reason I would ever need a therapist was if something really dramatic and horrible
happened, like maybe if my parents died, or if I was assaulted. Yes, therapy is for those times in our lives when things get to be too much to deal with on our own, but I was so wrong about the kind of people who need it.”

“You Are Not Alone” as published on Believe Out Loud

“I’m practically a gay spokesperson, but under pressure – even in an unthreatening atmosphere – I stayed closeted. While this completely threw me, I feel glad that it happened and it was a good reminder of one thing. The coming out process never ends for a gay person and always takes courage.”

“Coming Out Straight” as published on RMNBlog

“I know she loves and accepts me just as I am, but she still needs time to completely become the proud mom of a lesbian. I’m also well aware that if it took me over 15 years to come out and it was inside of me, that it might take at least half that amount of time for someone who doesn’t feel it inside.”

“The Ultimate Silencer” as published on RMNBlog

“What do they imagine I’ll say when they use the Bible as a sword to prove me wrong? And if the intention is indeed to silence me, how do I respond with grace and love instead of engaging in a Bible war?”