Top 5 Ways To Show Up for Your LGBTG Friends & Family This Holiday Season

1. Make Your Space Truly Welcoming

Little things can go a long way! Use their correct names and pronouns, skip any assumptions about relationships or family roles, and check in to see if there’s anything they need to feel comfortable. Your support creates a holiday space where everyone can relax and be themselves.

2. Respect Their Choices & Boundaries

Not everyone’s holiday plans look the same. If your friend or family member decides not to attend certain gatherings or wants to keep some things private, respect their wishes. Support means letting them choose what feels best without pressure or expectation.

3. Reach Out & Stay Connected

For some LGBTQ + folks, the holidays bring up feelings of isolation. Text, call, or invite them for coffee or a walk—just knowing you’re there can mean a lot. Be a steady friend they can count on, whether they need a listening ear or just some fun company.

4. Choose Thoughtful, Affirming Gifts

When gift-giving, consider items that reflect their identity and interests. This could be something from a queer-owned shop or a donation to an LGBTQ+ charity in their name. Thoughtful gifts, big or small, show you’re really thinking of them and what matters to them.

5. Be an Advocate in Small Moments

If conversations turn insensitive, gently speak up to bring understanding and kindness. Sometimes a quick reminder about inclusive language or a reassuring smile can make a world of difference. Showing up as an ally reinforces that they’re not alone.

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The Christmas before I came out was the last one I spent with my family. I knew it was

likely to be, so I made a point to savor it. Six months later, the Supreme Court legalized

gay marriage, Caitlyn Jenner came out and the Church erupted into a fury of

conversation about LGBTQ+ people as if we were nothing more than an issue to be

solved, like taxes.

So, when my cis/straight friend texted me one day to show support, I was not prepared

for what she asked. She said, “Hey, I know there’s a lot of conversation happening right

now ABOUT the LGBTQ+ community and I just wanted to ask, has anyone actually

asked you how you’d like to be ministered to?” Even now as I think about that moment,

my eyes fill with tears at the profound and simple act of love. She stopped to connect

with me as a person around a unique experience I was having. Later that year when I

was told that it might be best if I didn’t come home for the holidays, she made sure to

invite me to spend it with her family. And, she hasn’t stopped extending the invitation

since.

A few small, thoughtful actions can make a big difference in helping the LGBTQ+ people

in your life feel valued and cared for. Start by brushing up on pronouns, the latest

terminology, and stay informed about issues affecting the LGBTQ+ community. Then,

take a moment to check in with your loved ones. Ask them how they’re feeling this

holiday season and ask how you can best support them. Your love and support can

mean the world to them!

- Alicia Brock, TCC Therapist